It's been a hectic, loony day, and so tonight I'm treating myself to a little

 feast at my favorite Mexican eatery in West Hollywood: Los Tacos.  It's just an inexpensive hole-in-the-wall but they dish out great food twenty-four hours a day. (Their cuisine is absolute poetry!). 

      "What a long line, huh?" remarks a friendly voice behind me, as we queue up to place our order. I'm delighted to see that the voice belongs to the multifaceted entertainer Jade Esteban Estrada --choreographer, actor, comedian, writer, director, and award-winning singer (his current CD is "Angel").  You can hear his music on the FX series The Shield, as well as on the Human Rights Campaign's CD compilation, Being Out Rocks along with Cyndi Lauper, k.d. lang, and Sarah McLaughlin (Jade is a spokesperson for the HRC).  Jade began his career as a chorus boy, and at one time he was an assistant to actress Zoe Caldwell.  Later, he was lead dancer for Charo. He's also shared the stage with Madonna, Ricky Martin, and Margaret Cho, and he's kicked up his heels in such stage productions as Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and Starlight Express.  Presently, he is touring in his third one-man show "ICONS: The Lesbian and Gay History of the World, Vol. 1" (a history of the gay community that includes AIDS), which he also performs at hospices around the country.

     I reach the front of the line, order my usual chili rellenos and small salad with extra guacamole (sans chips and rice...no carbs, darling), when Jade invites me to dine together.  He orders chicken tacos with extra jalapenos.  We grab our food and cozily exchange words at an intimate corner table.

     Isn't this place a piece of heaven?

     I can never wait to visit LA so that I can eat here. 

     Oh, that's right, you reside in New York.  Jade, you're whole family is made up of artists!

     Yes, my brother is an actor, and my sister is a playwright.  My uncles were Mariachi singers. (He fetches some salsa for us).

     Thank you.  How old are you?

     I'll be thirty soon; the big three-O.  I feel like I've earned it (He laughs).

     And you've earned your stripes in the humanitarian world too.  Tell me about your one-man show in the late nineties; It's Too Late...It's Already in Me revolved around gay Latinos and AIDS, and was inspired by the death of your best friend who died from it.

     [He's surprised how much I know about him.]  Oh, Gil.  Yes.  His name was Gilbert Flores and he was twenty-four when he died in 1997.  We used to do everything together and were so much alike.  When I left San Antonio and went off to New York, Gil stayed there, and for years we lived vicariously through one another.  He had the stability: the boyfriend, the job, the car.  I didn't have those things because I was traveling.  When I was in Japan, I found out he had AIDS.  I immediately flew to see him.  When I arrived at his house, he said he wanted to show me something.  "The next time you really feel in love, or feel horny and you want to have sex without a condom, I want you to remember this."  He led me into his room where there seemed to be a hundred or more prescription bottles lying about that he had to take throughout the day. 

     What an impact that must have made on you.

     It was profound.  I've never forgotten that.  I understood, then, the change in lifestyle between us.  Gil was the first person I knew who had AIDS.  It was surreal.  I realized that AIDS was affecting my life, and so when I returned to the Far East, I had this need to express what I felt.  My first thought was that I needed to speak to gay Latinos, and I wrote this play.  I also started using my celebrity status for AIDS.   In 2000, I performed at the United States Conference on AIDS in Atlanta.

     How did you deal with Gil's death?

     I don't know if I have.  So many years have passed, Ruby, and I'll find myself on the train, or in Minneapolis, and will sigh deeply, thinking, Oh god, I miss Gil. And it will seem like he died yesterday.  I mean, we were supposed to live forever.  But of course, there is a part of him that is still here.  He always told me, When I'm gone, I'll always be watching you.  And I do feel protected. 

     [Jade has a concerned, puzzled look.  Something is obviously bothering him.]  What is it?

     I don't know if I have a right to say this...[I urge him on.]  Gil and I were very close and he would show me all sides of himself.  When he first learned that he was HIV, he told me that he was very angry, and that he had thought about going out and spreading it because it wasn't fair.  I don't know if it came to fruition. 

     [There is a short pause.]  Thank you for your honesty, Jade.  With a nod to Elisabeth Kubler Ross, anger is indeed one of the stages we all go through.

     Yes, it's a very human emotion.

     What was your response when Gil confided in you?

     I just listened.  I didn't pass judgment because I knew this was his time.  This is all part of having a true friendship. 

     What is your take on the current AIDS situation?

     There is a lacking of how big this thing is.  It's almost two decades later and some people are not getting it; never have.  We've forgotten about it and now our younger generation is clueless. 

     How about AIDS in the Latino community?

     The consciousness of many Latinos is still back in the 1980s.  They don't fully understand what AIDS is all about. Gay Latinos have a pretty hard decision to make. We struggle with this traditional culture, religion, and faith and clash with the American culture that screams -- 'Be yourself! [He takes a bite of taco.]  I'm reminded of the Monroe Doctrine, as I see George Bush bully other countries on the grounds that we are Americans and it is our divine right to rule the world. Although there is money being spent on AIDS research and education, there is not always enough literature in other languages like Spanish to educate young, sexually active people in the United States and Latin America.

     What can we?...[Jade interrupts].

     It's very important the work that you do, Ruby; and the work I do. By us coming together, little by little we do our best to make a wee bit of change in a world that's really full of heartache.   AIDS is a really, really big, horrible plague, and the more that you and I are out there talking about it, the better.

     Keep tabs on Jade at www.GetJaded.com

©2003 A & U Magazine